Episode 47 : Yes, But

🎙️ Episode 47 — Yes, But

Hosted by Jen Cole & Rachel Chappelle

This episode is sponsored by Vu Events — Wichita's magic makers. Cheers to Jovana and the team!

May is Mental Health Awareness Month, and we decided to get real about it. Not in a five-tips kind of way. In the actual, imperfect, sometimes-you-hold-it-in-until-you-explode kind of way that real life actually looks like.

Also: Trend Decoder is back, the math gets embarrassing, and "Clean" by Taylor Swift sends both of us somewhere we weren't entirely prepared to go.

📱 TREND DECODER

Trend #1: "Yes, But" — Creators show the polished, aspirational side of something ("yes") followed immediately by the messy behind-the-scenes reality ("but..."). Rachel earned half a point guessing this one. She's at peace with it.

Trend #2: "Brainwash You" — Creators jokingly frame themselves as dangerously influential. Spend enough time with them and you'll accidentally adopt better habits. Rachel basically cracked this one by referencing The Office. 1.5 out of 2.

💜 MENTAL HEALTH, MILESTONES & THE MESSY MIDDLE

What does managing mental health actually look like — not the Instagram version, the real one? We get into the routines, the spiraling, the lists, the people, and the positive milestones that are somehow still exhausting.

Spoiler: positive things are still stressful. Mixing emotion with logistics while being the most emotional person in the room is a whole thing. We see you.

🎶 HITS DIFFERENT: "Clean" — Taylor Swift (1989)

Rachel heard it for the first time tonight. The rain imagery hit. The drowning-but-finally-breathing thing hit. And Jen shared something she hadn't talked about on the podcast before — the season in her life when this song first existed, and what it meant then vs. what it means now.

Both of us realized we were going through overlapping heartbreaks at the same time without knowing it. That came out on mic. In Episode 47. So that happened. 🥂

📣 BEFORE YOU GO

• Riverfest Main Stage — Sunday, May 31 at 11 AM! All you need is a Riverfest button. Come find us. 🎉
• Merch: Uncorked & Slightly Unhinged + Messy Is My Polished — 10% of profits go to Ballet Wichita 🩰 Link here.
• Season 2 is coming — drop your ideas for new segments in the comments!
• Subscribe + review on Spotify, YouTube, and wherever you listen. 🎙️

Yes, but... we'll see you next time.

So THIS Happened.

Sponsored by Vu Events  |  Sip Squad Sponsor  |  May 2026

Transcript

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SPEAKER_01 0:07

Cheers. Cheers. We're back. So this happened. I'm Jen. I'm Rachel. And wow, do we have a lot to cover today? So, but first we have to say this podcast is sponsored by our lovely friends at Vu Events. They are magic makers. They are idea factories, and we love everything that they do. So cheers to Javonna and her team. We our next episode is going to be recorded at Riverfest live on the main stage Sunday at 11 a.m. So come out and see us. All you need is a Riverfest button to get in. That's gonna be a magical time. I'm really excited about that.

SPEAKER_00 0:43

Oh, it's gonna be fun. It's gonna be neat. Everyone's gonna hear our voices just forced upon them through all the speakers around Riverfest. It'll be lovely. Welcome to So This Happened at Riverfest.

SPEAKER_01 0:54

That's right. Rumor has that we might have a DJ hype with, you know, lovely view events. Lovely view events, DJ Panda. We love you, Tony. Thank you for the offer. This is gonna be amazing. Yeah, and okay, so we have a lot to cover tonight. We're we okay, so it's mental health awareness month. So we're gonna dive into some mental health topics tonight. We have some trends to cover on our trend decoder section. I will not give any clues to what they mean yet. Let's have it. And then our song for our hits different segment tonight is clean from Taylor Sof's 1989 album. Um, but first, don't forget if you and want any of our spiffy merch, you can get that. Spiffy indeed, Jen. Spiffy indeed. Spiffy. Yeah, I don't know why you said that word.

SPEAKER_00 1:41

I hardly ever use that word. I've heard it before, Jen. I'm sounding like a like a sportscaster.

SPEAKER_01 1:50

It's fiffy. It's spiffy. Get our amazing ultra-stylish merch at the link that I'm going to post in the show notes. Yes. And then, of course, don't forget to um subscribe and review us on YouTube, Spotify, all of the things. Because we love hearing from y'all.

SPEAKER_00 2:07

We do. Give us all those stars, give us all the reviews, give us all the comments, give us all the suggestions. Yes, give us all the likes. We love those thumbs. We are gearing up for season two here soon, folks. So right, we are. Oh my gosh. We're gonna have time to refresh, we're gonna have time to regroup, and we're open to suggestions.

SPEAKER_01 2:28

Yes, we are. Yes, we are. So if you have some fun freaking ideas for us, let us know because we are always open to hearing what our community has to say.

SPEAKER_00 2:37

Yeah, give us some spiffy ideas, guys.

SPEAKER_01 2:40

Yes, please make them spiffy. That would be great. Thanks. So why don't we spend some time catching up? How have you been, Rachel?

SPEAKER_00 2:49

I've been quite swell. Spiffy, I'd say.

SPEAKER_01 2:53

What has gotten into us tonight? Is it changing? Like, what's going on?

SPEAKER_00 2:58

It's not quite full yet. I looked at it, it's gonna be another week till it's full. But we're gonna So we can't blame it on that. No. Um, but yeah, it was good. It was well. I was out of home for work over the weekend a little bit. It went really well. It was a great event. And then I got to go on a nice nature walk on when I got home. Saw some deer. Like I was like four feet away from three different deer. Oh, that's fun. And a lot of the great tree coverage over at the Great Plains Nature Center. Go check it out. Yeah. I've been there like a long time ago, but I must have forgot what it all was about. I've never been there. Maybe I never walked through the whole thing. There's still trails that I think I missed that I need to go through. There's different colored arrows you can follow. Oh, it's fun. I didn't follow them. We just were like, this way or that way. And then we were like, oh, there's certain colored arrows for certain paths.

SPEAKER_01 3:50

It's okay to follow your own arrows.

SPEAKER_00 3:52

Yeah, I think we took a mixture of all the arrows. But it was a lot of fun. I'm planning on going back. I will say, you know, if you're like elderly or have like me or whatever issues, wear good shoes first of all, because like the paths, the paths aren't that even. It's like old pavement, but it's still really fun. I honestly kind of like it that way because then it makes it more nature-y. Yeah, okay. Um, but you'll see a lot of neat things there. They also have like a little museum, little like animal exhibit. I don't know that what the hours are of that exactly. I didn't check it out this time, but I plan to next time or the next one after that, where they have other animals and things in there that they've been helping to like get back out into the wild or that they're keeping because they can't be put back in the wild. Oh. And so educational stuff there as well. So that was really fun. And then the next day, yesterday, went out to the lake for a few hours, which was nice. And we got late, but it's all I could do. I just wanted some sun and to float in some water. That's what Memorial Day weekend is for, you know. So I blew up my little floaty, my little one I got like last year, I think, at Walmart for like 10 or 15 bucks. Nice. Just floated on that, listened to some music, got some sun. Which lake did you go to? Winfield Lake. Very nice. Yes, and luckily I think everybody was leaving because they've been there throughout Memorial Day week. Oh, yeah, yeah. But since I just got in town, so luckily there was some like there were some good spots still left. Like, um, so we got a nice little spot and with little shady options and like a nice little entry into the rock area. But it was really relaxing. I got back home and I was so pooped. Just from because it's my first time being out to the lake this year. This year, yay! Well, at least it happened. Yeah, I'm glad we got to go spend some time in the sun. Yeah. I feel like it got a little bit, but not too much, so that's good. But it was really relaxing and good, and then back to it today. So, what about you? You went on a trip.

SPEAKER_01 5:37

Yeah, yeah. We went to so Tim and the boys and I, we took a little jaunt out to St. Louis. We so I'd only ever driven through it like as kind of a passing through point. I never spent time there. It was a lot of fun though, learning that there's so much history in that. St. Louis, yeah, uh, so that so St. Louis is was established in 17, like I don't know, 17 something. 1780, 17, like no, it was before we were in a country. I think it was 1760 something. Wow. Um, and like the architecture out there is incredible. I I get a little funny about architecture. I don't think that's something that I talk a whole lot about, but I have a little bit of an obsession. I love architecture, yeah. It's it's very, very cool. We need to go to Europe. Clearly, yeah, oh my gosh, I would die. My my my heart to go to Europe. That would be fucking amazing. Oh, that's um, bucket list. Oh, can you imagine? That would be so fun. That would be so much fun. Uh, but like that, yeah, so it was really cool to get to see a lot of the architecture. It was fun to, when the boys went up into the arch with Tim, I'd already done the arch before. I'm also not a person that really loves heights. So I'd already done it. I did it when I was, I think I was a junior in high school. And so I was like, you know, I've already done that, been there, done that, did not buy the t-shirt, saw the views, felt its way. I'm good.

SPEAKER_00 7:03

I bought a puzzle from there once when I went with my dad. It had like a thunderstorm in the background. It was really cool.

SPEAKER_01 7:09

Yeah. Can you imagine being up there in a store?

SPEAKER_00 7:12

Sounds like a bad idea. It's a metal art. Yeah, it doesn't sound fun. It's a metal art.

SPEAKER_01 7:16

See, this is why I didn't go back up there is because you could I could feel it moving. The boys didn't feel it moving when they were up there with Tim. They did buy me an ornament, but what I did when they were up in the arch is I got myself a little starbees drink from the hotel because our hotel was right across the street from the f from the national park with the arches. So literally walk across the street to the arch. So they were up in the arch. I got my little Starbees, and I took my book. Right now I'm reading The Hotel Nantucket and I'm freaking loving it. I was about to ask you. I thought I remember you mentioning that you got that one. Yeah. Yes, and I I'm just freaking loving it. And I read a few chapters of the Hotel Nantucket and sipped my little strawberry, not strawberry, it was like the butterfly drink that they have right now with coconut milk, and it was delicious. So sipped on that has like little boba at the bottom. And I usually don't go for boba. I didn't think you did. You don't know. No, I just didn't realize that it had that, and so that was a fun little surprise. When you like suck that up through your straw, that just crunched in my mouth. If they give you a thick straw, watch out. I knew it, yeah. Because then I sure enough, I look at the bottom and what like where's the orange color because it was like rainbowy color, it was beautiful, it's really pretty jank. I was like, I have to have that in my life. But you still had coffee that morning. Yeah, no more coffee. No, I'd had a lot. We had breakfast at this adorable coffee shop cafe place called Noteworthy. So it was all about music, and they had like repurposed piano parts everywhere, and they even had like a live piano player in the cafe playing. But we sat outside, which they had like repurposed the whole entire like yard area into this really pretty garden that also had repurposed piano pieces in it, like parts of an actual piano.

SPEAKER_00 9:03

That they like spread it throughout.

SPEAKER_01 9:05

Okay, it was really cool, and the coffee was great, the breakfast was delicious. It was nice to sit outside in a chair. So I spent a lot of my day Sunday outside because I got to read my book outside, I got to make breakfast outside. We went to the City Museum, which was absolutely insane. That place is crazy. Yes, watch my social. I'm gonna be posting all about it. But it was really cool because they did have an a little special section that was all about architecture. Oh, cool. And so I got to kind of go through and learn and see up close some of the pieces that I'd been like oggling over that like that very morning before. Yeah, which is really cool. And yeah, so it was just a it was a really nice trip.

SPEAKER_00 9:46

I've been to that museum before. I I got there, I think it was like an hour before, or maybe an hour and a half before close though. Oh wow, and when I got there, there was like two or three different like school trips. You could tell because they're already in the same t-shirt and they had like one. Oh, yeah. And I'm like, how do you not lose children in here?

SPEAKER_01 10:03

I they they suggest you write their your phone number on their I mean, write it on mine, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:10

Because but yeah, I went through there and we kind of tried to hit everything that I could, but like, and it's like kind of built for kids and athletic ones at that. Oh, for sure. And but I still best believe you, I jumped on those ropes and swung through those things, and um, there's like different tunnels to like crawl through. Like maybe that you thought it was. I did too, but you know, I get a little claustrophobic, yeah. But so I had to go quickly and I had to make sure no one was in front of me or ahead of me. Yeah. Um, and so like I went head first down this one and I didn't expect it to have this crazy wind, and it was like I was like their rebar or something, like the they like made those like iron bars like into a tunnel, uh-huh, essentially. Yeah, and so I went through a bunch of those and stuff, and I didn't realize it like it made me feel larger than I think I am. But I was like, I was like, they need to put like an age limit or like a size limit on above these tunnels before you start going through them because I swear this one got smaller.

SPEAKER_01 11:12

No, this is hilarious. Nathan said the same thing. He did, he said the exact same thing. He's like, I think I was too big to be going through that.

SPEAKER_00 11:21

No, apparently, no, I got through it, and I think I'm thicker than he is. I'm shorter, but I'm thicker.

SPEAKER_01 11:28

Yeah, he was he was pretty convinced that like each younger children. We we came to the conclusion that maybe it was more for like children eight through twelve or something. Because you know, Nathan's basically seven.

SPEAKER_00 11:39

I mean, don't get me wrong, it was still a rush, and I enjoyed it. Oh, yeah, he did too. Also, I was like, I think they just need to let people know. Like, hey, this is like how they have warnings above like bridges for trucks, like like 10 feet. Like 10 feet. Like, that's what they should be putting up there. So true. But I didn't get to all that, but it was a really cool museum. I wish I could have taken more time to stop and like look through all of the different art pieces they have there. Because even so much, even with all that interactive stuff for the kids, they still have like art stuff on the side. Yeah, and when I and it's pretty cheap to get in. I thought it was like 20 bucks.

SPEAKER_01 12:15

It was 20. So when we went, it was 29, but we got the we got the rooftop and the pinball add-on, which was another $5. So it's like $34, $30 something dollars a ticket. I think you could at least spend a whole day there if you really took time to go. Oh, yeah. We were only there for like two and a half hours, and we were all like, okay, we get it. It's great. Tim and I like we drank this the they have the City Museum Pilsner, which is a collab with four hands brewing. Um, so like there's several bars throughout this place too, which is cool because literally something for everyone. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:47

And they have restaurants too, or like a interior.

SPEAKER_01 12:50

A little cafe, a little bar, a little like yeah, a little ice cream place, popcorn place, like yeah, all throughout. There's something for everyone. Yeah, literally. It's kind of like going to the zoo. Saw like some giant underpants, like underneath a disco ball. See, I missed that. Wild. I would definitely go back.

SPEAKER_00 13:07

Of course, it's crazy. I would definitely go back, but I do think that yeah, having kids to go with you makes it.

SPEAKER_01 13:12

Yeah, I think the boys definitely had fun, but again, we were only there two and a half hours, and they're like, we get it. But they'd been there before, which I didn't realize. They'd been there on a mission trip before on their way to Chicago, so which is only like I think it was only a couple years ago.

SPEAKER_00 13:27

They have an area too with like plants and fish, don't they? Yeah, they have an aquarium, oxalottles. Yeah, and it's like it's like a you can go through tunnels. So it makes it more of like a cave experience. Yeah. So yeah, that's a really cool museum.

SPEAKER_01 13:40

It's so cool. Yeah, we we had a lot of fun there. And then the boys, of course, being teenagers after that, they were done. They wanted to go back to the hotel. And so Tim and I dropped them at a hotel, and we being Tim and I, we went to a brewery. We went to Fourhands, which is the the uh brewery that was collabing with City Museum on the Pilsner that we were drinking. We're like, why don't we go to the brewery? It was awesome, very good beer. We had some great beer while we were in St. Louis, it was a lot of fun, it was a great trip.

SPEAKER_00 14:07

I'm glad you had a good trip.

SPEAKER_01 14:09

Yeah, I am too. It was nice to get out and see something new for sure. Yeah, I think we'll definitely be going back to St. Louis. We all absolutely enjoyed it. I'm sure there's more to see. Oh, there's so much more to see. We I don't think we even scratched a fraction of the surface. But moving on now, because I need to blow your mind and please your soul. I'm up. Okay, so it's time for trend decoder. This is when I um present a the name of a trend to Rachel, and Rachel very blindly, because she doesn't, she pro most likely doesn't know what the trend means. She tries to guess what it is. Yeah, here we go. And what it's all about. So the first trend, trend number one, is called yes, but oh gosh.

SPEAKER_00 14:59

Is this like last week's was the no? It was just a no.

SPEAKER_01 15:03

No, this one is not. It is yes, comma, but yes, but one T. Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 15:10

You're welcome. You know, I ask aboutten with these. Yes, but okay. My an ooh. And sometimes I just get blanked out by them because the trend name isn't like what the wording on the trend is. Ever. No, well, but kind of could be. Yes, Bob. So it kind of reminds me of the no one or whatever, because you're you were like, Yes, I can have wine, but no, it's okay because my name's Jen. I don't know. I'm thinking out loud.

SPEAKER_01 15:48

Yes, but yeah, that one was funny. It was like, my husband keeps saying, stop drinking so much wine, but it's okay because my name is Jen.

SPEAKER_00 15:56

Yeah, so this is like the opposite of that. So I feel like, oh no. Uh I don't have many thoughts yet. Hang on, I gotta get cooking. Yes, but so like, okay. Someone, oh gosh, this could go different ways. I know I always use this example. I love this. But like, if you're telling somebody about something that's like not a great situation, so like if you're over here, like, hey Rachel, I'm I met this new guy that I think would be great for you. He he yes, he does have a tarantula as a pet, but he has a really good job and he's nice. And I'd be like, no, no, that's not it.

SPEAKER_01 16:45

Tarantula is so cute. I know everything. I know. Guys, she's giving you the answers.

SPEAKER_00 16:49

Or you'd be like, okay, maybe it's that's not it. Uh yes, but so I'm thinking it's something to add on to things. So, like, hey, do you want to go to the lake? And I'd be like, Yes, but we need to buy this flamingo floaty. I do like that. Or there's one like, or something along the same lines would be like, Do you want to have a wine night? I'd be like, yes, but we need to have charcuterie too. Or like where we need snacks. I feel like I'm not nailing it. You're not. Oh no.

SPEAKER_01 17:27

Can I get a hint? Or can I it's kind of the opposite of what you're saying. Okay. So where you're saying it, okay. I don't know. I don't that I don't know. Not necessarily the opposite, but it I feel like it's kind of more of a backwards thought from what you're saying. Okay. I don't know how to explain it.

SPEAKER_00 17:44

Okay. So it's it's yes, but no. I feel like when it should be. I don't know. I feel like it should be yes, but no. So like I maybe it's something when that's a little warmer. I feel like this is something where it's like, hey, do you want to go do this fun thing? And you're like, yes, I absolutely do, but no, my cat's on my lap. I'm not going. You know, I feel like it's kind of an anxiety-ridden thing. Where it's like, I really want to go, but like, no, there I can't. Oh my god, we're getting so much closer. Like, I can't because I don't want to, kind of a thing. Or like uh, hey, do you want to go dance on stage for this event? Yes, I'd love to, but no, that's not me. I'm not gonna do that.

SPEAKER_01 18:35

I don't know. Okay, you're so close with that. I'm done. You are you are so close with that. That's the best I got. It's it's like, yes, yes, we get to go be on main stage at Riverfest. But what you don't see is like the nerves and the logistics and the like the find the chaotic behind the scenes of what actually goes into that. Oh yes, I do, but also what you don't see is this stuff.

SPEAKER_00 19:01

I get younger saying, and that's and that's a lot of what all of a lot of what you do for work and and what I do for work is too. So, like, yeah, oh yes, I'm gonna have a cookout outside of a radio location, but it sounds like a lot of fun, yes, but what you don't see is a cart full of like like hot dog buns and meat and condiments.

SPEAKER_01 19:27

What you don't see is in 90 degree weather, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:31

Okay, yeah, okay. I was kind of close. Do I get the half a point for that? Yeah, definitely half a point for that. Okay, that because I was getting closer with the anxiety thing, like that's how I feel. That's kind of how I feel when anyone asks me to do something that does sound like a lot of fun, especially if I don't know my schedule set for sure. I just go, yes, but uh yeah, I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 19:51

Yeah, well, see, like for me, it's like so something that I've always heard over the years from people is we see you on social all the time. You're absolutely everywhere. And I'm like, Yeah, but you should see the state of my house, it's complete pit all the time. My house is never clean, and if it ever looks like it's clean in a reel, it's because I've cleaned up that one little section that you get to see in the reel.

SPEAKER_00 20:17

Or just like you get to, you know, you're like, or also a lot of people think that we are just at these places every single day. But yeah, no, no, maybe that's called content yes, gathering, yes, and utilization of planning. It's like you take it now, we sit down. Like, I know my dad who's like, you're not drinking all the time.

SPEAKER_01 20:36

I was like, Dad, those are all we did that like we did that a week ago. Like today, we posted coffee breaks today, but we did that over lunch on Friday, you know, like and that's the beauty of it.

SPEAKER_00 20:47

That's magic, that's planning, and you have to do it. It doesn't make it any less real, it just makes it an actual real. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 20:57

Good job. Cheers today. Good work on that. We still have a whole nother trend to talk about. I think this one is going to be a wonderful conversation. Oh gosh. This one is called trend number two is called brainwash you. Okay. Oh no. Why are you? You know, I picked the ones with the best names. Brainwash You.

SPEAKER_00 21:21

Oh no. Drink the goo-aid, damn it. Brainwash You. Okay. This is a trend? Yeah. People post videos. That's the title of the trend. Okay, people post videos to this. Oh, god. This is a hard one. Yeah. It's like okay, so to brainwash someone, you have to repeat something, usually. Not necessarily, or you just have to put them in a trance. So, how do you put people in a trance? I'm thinking, is it someone doing something over and over again? Habit related.

SPEAKER_01 22:05

I think you're leaning in the correct direction. Yeah. Now, also, if you do you need another hint? Or do you want to keep going without a hint for a minute?

SPEAKER_00 22:14

Just give me a minute. Maybe I'll go somewhere with my brain. She's cooking. Let me cook. I don't know where that came from, but I feel like it makes sense. Okay. So. Repeated habit. It could be like someone doing the same thing every day and them just like playing them doing their thing every day and the video over and over and over again. Just wearing different outfits. And where does brainwasher come in? Are they just dumping water on their heads? No.

SPEAKER_02 22:45

No.

SPEAKER_00 22:46

Brainwasher would be like if the person like watches it every single day, then they might start doing it. Okay, you're so fucking close. But so like, you know, kind of like I'm thinking of like in the office when Jim hands a mint to Dwight every time like his computer turns on or something. Like conditioning him. Like I feel like it's a form of that, but I'm not sure what the content would be behind that. Okay. So I'm close. Do I need a hint or is that like close enough to get a point?

SPEAKER_01 23:23

No, you're you're definitely close enough to get a point. Okay. Yeah, you were on the fucking brink of it. Okay. You are so close. I'm so proud of you. Oh my god. Good. So you know how creators always have a niche. Yeah. So my niche would my niche personally is Jen Cole is like it's usually either travel or it's very Wichita stuff. So what I would do if I did this trend, and I apparently I guess I probably will now because I'm saying this is stick around here long enough and I'll brainwash you into loving Wichita. Okay, that makes sense. Stick around here long enough and we'll brainwash you into loving our podcast. Yes, it's basically habits, it's exposure. Okay, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 24:06

That's what my brain was also saying.

SPEAKER_01 24:07

I would almost give you a point and a half because you were like right there.

SPEAKER_00 24:11

My marketing brain was on. Yes, you're I love that so much. Two marketing girls here. Yeah. And you said brainwashing, I was like, well, yeah, it's conditioning. That's right.

SPEAKER_01 24:23

Oh my god, you were so oh, I love this. You were like so on it. You had it, you had it, you had it.

SPEAKER_00 24:31

Wow, okay, that was fun. And it's so funny because it's too easy, no. No. So I got I got two out of two and a half.

SPEAKER_01 24:39

So, so out of four, you got two and a half? Yes. Is there another one? Wait, are they one or two points each? I don't know, Jen. I think they're two points each. So you got 0.5 for the first one, and you got 1.5. So you had three out of four. Two out of four? Two out of four, Jenny. I feel like you did great. Thank you. I'm a marketer. I don't have to do math. That's a 50%. Remember, I cried during math homework.

SPEAKER_00 25:08

You guys saw it on social. That's a 50%. That's a fail in my book, but it's okay. No, you did great.

SPEAKER_01 25:15

It's better than 0.5 out of four.

SPEAKER_00 25:17

That's fair. You did great. Thank you. Thank you. You're being very generous with your points.

SPEAKER_01 25:25

If only I had you as a my teacher. Be good for your mental health. Which, by the way, May is Mental Health Awareness Month. Yeah. And so we today are going to be diving into a conversation about mental health. We talk a lot on this podcast about milestone moments, big moments. But like, I feel like maybe we should dive into what does mental health actually look like for us day to day. Um what kind of the real version? Like, you guys get a lot of our giggly giggly, ha ha ha. We love what you talk.

SPEAKER_00 26:02

You do that, and it still makes me laugh.

unknown 26:04

I know.

SPEAKER_01 26:05

I feel like sometimes we gotta dive in and get real because that's what you guys are here for. You're you're here to get to know us better. Yeah. So here's a little treat before we go crazy on the main stage at Riverfest. So, what is what does mental health look like to you day to day right now?

SPEAKER_00 26:20

Personally, uh for me right now, you know, I mean, it's always kind of just keeping myself in check, I guess, and kind of checking in with myself, making sure I know. And then we've talked a little about kind of how we manage our thoughts and feelings, um, and that's all incorporated with it, but everyone's always stressed out. Like everyone's always stressed out about something or someone or something coming up. I think that keeping my plan, like we've talked about like keeping my plan in order and like my priorities in the right spot as far as what I need to focus on right now, whether it's like things coming up that are stressing me out, or things that I don't know how to deal with that I can put on the back burner that I should put on the back burner and when to actually dress them. So just like organizing those thoughts is the best thing to do. But that being said, that becomes really difficult to do sometimes, especially depending on what hits you in the face when you don't expect it. Oh my god, that's so true. Yeah, or just like a mood that hits you and or in the face like when you don't expect it, or when you're extra tired and you can't deal with it as well.

SPEAKER_02 27:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:32

So for me, like self-care is just huge. It's just huge. Like making sure I do the basic things and my keep my routine as stable as possible, as far as like uh the little things, brushing my teeth, showering, making sure like if I'm feeling overwhelmed, like I'll set aside in the evening to take a bath and do a face mask and listen to music or a nice chill podcast or uh put on my favorite show and light a candle. Those little things really do go a long way. Yeah, as long as you make sure to tell yourself that it's a treat. And another huge thing that I'm very fortunate of is I have a lot of really good friends, so like I can always text you. Yeah, yeah. Um, and honestly, even just like one or two texts back and forth makes me feel better. Yeah, you know, how that works. Um or just like a quick phone call, and then even better, like if you have the time and ability to get together with somebody. Yeah, because like if there's something really big that happens, like yes, you do need to feel that sort of thing, whatever it may be, whether it's like a relationship thing or a life thing or a work thing or a family thing, letting yourself feel it to an extent, but also managing not spiraling. I'm a known spiraling, I'm a known spiraler. That is probably that is probably one of the worst parts of the human condition is spiraling. So, what helps me not do that is talking to a friend be or be like, hey, you know, talking to a friend, or for me, luckily, I'm very fortunate to live with my sister-in-law. Yeah. So, like when I've had like days where I'm like bummy or something, and I'm just like in the living room watching TV, but I'm like, I don't know where my where I'm at, but I've got all the thoughts and feelings inside of me or whatever, and she comes up to get food, or whatever. I'm like, hey Kayla, what are you doing? You you want to hang out? You want to watch TV? Can we hang out? Will you sit with me? You you want me to watch you play Sims? Like Sims. Do any, you know, like those little things. So I'm very fortunate in that regard. Yeah. To have very good friends and live with a very good friend and family member. Yeah. To have that support. I think that's really important. But I think some people might be journaling, some people it might be also. I mean, therapy is a great tool as well. As long as you like are really open to it and resourceful. I could go on this for days, but for me, it's mostly right now where I'm at, I feel pretty good, but I do get overwhelmed. Yeah. We've got a lot of stuff with our, you know, oh yeah. We've got a lot of stuff with our work. We've got a lot of stuff with like changes just in general with our families. Um and even though it's good positive stuff, it's still stressful. Yeah. And it kind of also makes you like, I don't know, view things in kind of a reflective way. It's like being in a fun house, and there's all these mirrors, and you see a d bunch of different perspectives of yourself, and you're like, which way do I go? Do you know what I mean? Which one's the wrong one? Which way do I go? Which one do I shoot? You know those movies where they are like fighting, like that's kind of how it is. And you don't want to just blow up every mirror. Yeah, no, but you gotta know which one to focus on when and which part of yourself and your thought needs most attention. And I feel like I've luckily I feel like I've been pretty good about that. I think my friends and my self-care are probably the top two things that get me through any kind of low spot.

SPEAKER_01 31:17

Yeah, I know it's it's funny, like you are so good about that. Where I'm one of those people that like just tends to just I just hold stuff inside and I hold it inside and I hold it inside, and then eventually one day it just how and then everyone's like, oh my god, where the hell did that even come from? Like, how long has she been feeling this way? Like it was and I just it's funny. I did it at work again the other day. Like, yeah, I hate when this happens, it's embarrassing when it happens, but like I just I sometimes I wish that I wouldn't let myself get to a dang boiling point, but there's a I have this content idea, and I start just like I thought that we had talked about the content idea within the team, and I thought everyone was cool with the content idea, and I don't think that I had I don't maybe I didn't do a good enough job of communicating the content idea, but I thought I did, and I get feedback and rejection of my social post idea from work, and I'm like, wait, what? Like I thought that we talked about this, yeah, and and then like but then the next thing you know, I'm in the team, like the team's social media, like Microsoft Teams chat for the social media team, yes, explaining like explaining why like I feel like we really need to be doing this. Yes, good for you. Thank you, Murna. I'm I I'm really glad I did it too, except for the fact that nobody reacted or responded to it, and so I feel like it came out as uh Jen just unleashed again. No, where's this even coming from?

SPEAKER_00 33:04

No, that's what you're I I disagree. I mean, I get why you feel that way.

SPEAKER_01 33:08

So I just like I'm really, really good at getting in my head. Yep, me tell me. And this is why, like, I have to talk to you about things like this. I need to talk to Tim about things like this. I know I should definitely talk to my work team about this, but the problem is they don't react or respond. Well, they do. I I feel like I need to work on trusting them a little bit more. Maybe I think it's more of a me problem than it is because I love my coworkers when I leave this. Yeah, I love the team that I work with. I feel like sometimes I just get a little too inside my head for a really long time and then I let myself outside my head and it comes out overbearing.

SPEAKER_00 33:46

Do you think that they just I maybe they just are like that's not their focus in their role? No, and so I'm sitting here siloing myself. So they're not under they're not not that they're not understanding, but they maybe aren't reacting because it's not their expertise.

SPEAKER_01 34:01

And they're probably like, what the hell just happened?

SPEAKER_00 34:03

They're probably like, that sounds good, but I don't know what it means. Maybe, maybe, I don't know exactly what it was, but I feel no, even the smallest things, like after my work event this last weekend, you know, my boss reached out to me the day after or later the evening, same evening of the event, was like, hey, you know, did how did it work? And I was like, I'm very pleased, you know. I was like, We got this many things, we went over well, told him like the weather was great. Went through the whole spiel, and then like an hour went by and I was like, He didn't respond. Yeah, I do he didn't respond. So scary, and then an hour and a half went by, and he or like two hours went by and he hearted the message, and I was like, Oh my god. Oh, you don't hate me. Like I was over here texting like a second message, like trying to hide myself off and be like, it was totally worth it. Like no, it's it's just a get you get in your head, yeah. And people don't also they don't know exactly what went into it.

SPEAKER_01 35:00

Like you said, yes, but yes, but yes, but yes, and so yes, you see this pretty thing, but you don't understand all the overthinking and craziness that went into actually producing that.

SPEAKER_00 35:09

So I think that kind of goes hand in hand with that sort of situation in those environments. But how about like outside of work and stuff? How do you feel?

SPEAKER_01 35:18

So I feel like we've had a lot going, like May was a crazy month. May was a crazy month, and I found myself incredibly overwhelmed, especially the week of graduation. I know that it was supposed to be incredible and memorable and wonderful, but it was and it really was. It was, but so much emotion and so you mix emotion and logistics, but and being the one that's in charge of the logistics with also being the one that's like most emotional about everything. Absolutely mix all that wonderfulness like kind of goes into an aspect of life, like emotion and logistics.

SPEAKER_00 35:56

That's what you have to have to plan your life.

SPEAKER_01 35:58

I know, because the passion is like what makes it, but at the same time, holy hell. I felt that week like I'd been run over by a bunch. Oh my gosh. Oh man. And I honestly like I thought that this weekend the trip to St. Louis was gonna be such a recharge. Yeah. And like have me kind of feeling re-energized and back to normal today at work. But honestly, I no, I'm not there yet. I think I'm in another couple days.

SPEAKER_00 36:27

Yeah, well, it goes to show exit again another good point, like, or two good points. One, like, even if it's positive stuff that's happening, it's still stress. It's still stress, it's a mental low. Yeah, positive, fun things are still mentally stressful. So there can be something that's positive and kind of like negative and stressful that like it it intermixes. So it's a very dynamic experience to be a human. Yeah, it sure is. And then point number two, you have to make sure that you set time aside for like trips and things to look forward to. Yeah. Because that's what got you through a lot of that. Yeah, and I know that's what gets you.

SPEAKER_01 37:05

There was that, and I took a day, I did take that day off, that Friday off, but I still had stuff I had to do. So much to do. I was still like, I still did the interview for the Broadway Wichita folks, and I still had I still met up with Hannah and Shane and got a beer that afternoon. And like there there were still things so many things that needed to be done that Google were able to be done.

SPEAKER_00 37:26

Yes, and so taking a day for yourself, for your own self, like, or making sure you set aside at least time for yourself. That's also another thing. Like, even for me, even if it's just like those two hours that where I'm like, I'm going to take my time showering, I'm gonna take my time doing a face mask, I'm gonna put on a movie, and I'm gonna put away laundry, like, even that like is like it can be as long as you frame it appropriately. For me, that's part of my self-healing and kind of self-care that helps me deal with my like mental prep and help me feel like I'm grounded. Yeah, I feel like you just have to find your best way to be grounded.

SPEAKER_01 38:03

For me, it's a lot of lists. Like, I have to make sure that I have everything written out on a list. I have a list at work, and that list is ever like ever changing. Every single week, I like take the things that I didn't complete. Oh, every day I do that, and then add them to the list, and then the same thing at home, like or for like the graduation party. I had a list in my notes.

SPEAKER_00 38:26

Like, I just I keep everything written down somewhere, and you have to allow that to not stress you out too much. You have to give the leeway. And so, what I do with those lists is I also like will I'll star or exclamation point the things that need done that day. Smart, I like that. Um, and I'll question mark the things that I can ask about later, or I'll like, you know, and then that way I know when I'm going through my list, like, okay, I got all my exclamation points done, or like you know, yeah, and then I can be like, okay, I'm doing pretty good for the day. And then when I get them done, I rewrite it the next day. Like I have to, because I like a clean list.

SPEAKER_01 39:03

Yeah, so do I. Checked off one would be nice.

SPEAKER_00 39:06

Also with sticky notes, like it's crazy.

SPEAKER_01 39:08

But oh, you should see your planner, yeah. A lot of sticky notes. Gosh, I aspire to that. I keep all of my stuff in a Google Calendar, so like it's just it's the same thing, but it's on it's electronic.

SPEAKER_00 39:21

I've been trying to get better about my Google Calendar on my phone, but so we're getting more into planning or whatever. But honestly, all of this planning and just making sure that I know what the heck I have to do with myself and what I expect from myself each day does help a lot with my mental health. Yeah, is if I know what to prepare myself for mentally, it really helps me stay focused and it helps me stay grounded because otherwise I wouldn't know what the hell's going on.

SPEAKER_01 39:47

It's true. Like I feel like if things okay, if things are oh my gosh, it so we have a lot of logistics right now for our appearance on Sunday on the main stage at Riverfest. And Rachel and I were chit-chatting before we started recording because you know, we have things that we want to talk through, things that we want to make sure that are on the table, physical table, you know, on stage at the main stage at Riverfest, where tens of thousands of people come to this thing. So we want to make sure that we're ready. And so we're sitting there like going through the list and texting Maria and Eddie, our contacts at Riverfest. Well, we have a table and chairs. Well, like, how does audio work? Are we having are we interviewing anyone? We we don't know yet. And is Tony cool? Is it cool that Tony's on stage with us being our hype guy? Which by the way, found out yes, it is. So, yay! I still need to let Tony know. There's so many things, there's a lot of logistics, but yeah, and all the little details gets overwhelming. It can, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 40:52

It's exciting at the same time, exactly. So, and also again, a great reason to have like a good coworker, a good partner that you could trust to talk about these things with. Oh, because also it helps bring back the things that you were talking about them with, like before. We do that with each other so many times, and then like and that's a great thing too, like that helps unload and de stress and be like, hey, I know that like, and I know a lot of people aren't as fortunate to have as close of a relationship as we do, yeah, like in their lives. And I would say, you know, for those people, like I think it's very important for you to gather that with yourself and be able to maintain your own pattern of being able to do that with yourself, and then hopefully, you know, being able to find a person that does allow you to riff with them that way. Yeah. And you know, I think that it's very valuable to have both abilities. But yeah, that's kind of how I am right now, you know. Yeah, I've been kind of we've both been going through a lot of changes. I think everyone has a very transformative month for everybody. Yeah, swear it is. It's like beautiful and crazy at the same time. So everyone buckle up though, because I'm sure the summer is gonna come with even more. But yeah, but just wanted to have a little non-to mental health awareness month and let you know we're not perfect either. We're absolutely never, we're all we're always just trying hard every day. Yeah, yes, but yes, but yeah, yes, you're almost great today. Yes, but I tried on six different ones, right?

SPEAKER_01 42:30

Um you should see the pile of clothes that I tried on earlier today because this room is a fit. Exactly. Hang it all back up. That's the yes, but exactly. I get it now, yes, but so now I I love that we had that great conversation. Yeah, that was I feel like now it's time to dive a little deeper. Um so we're going to go into today's hits different segments. Tonight's song is Clean from Taylor Swift's 1989 album. All right. So was tonight the first night that you ever listened to Clean? Yes. Okay, so let's talk about what you got out of the song.

SPEAKER_00 43:11

Okay, well, um, my god, it's a good song. Yes, it is. It made me in my fields. Yes, it will do that. What the hell? No, it was good. I really liked it. I feel like the clean is a great like title for that song because, you know, as we were talking about mental health and stuff, she mentions like how the drought was the worst. Yeah. Um, and she talks about being clean for however long and like 10 months or something like that. And makes me think I don't think she was actually talking about alcohol or substances or anything. I think she was talking about like love or connection of some sort. And I think that's really beautiful because it also brings me to the point with like. When you are upset or feeling some sort of way, you actually have to let yourself feel that. And I really liked how she talked about being in her room and feeling like she was suffocating or something like that. And so she punched a hole in the ceiling. On the roof, yeah. And she let the rain pour in. I love the rain.

SPEAKER_02 44:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 44:28

So, like for me, when it rains, like I do feel so like it's like so cleansing and cozy and like sad. And like, I don't know if you guys have ever felt this way, but I feel like I swear sometimes like the weather, like, knows how I'm feeling or something. But it's like so refreshing. And so I think that it is really important for you to take that time to let yourself be cleansed and really sink into it and think about how you're feeling and allow yourself to process that and clean it out, just kind of how you would with a detox of anything. Oh, absolutely. And I feel like I liked that analogy or whatever metaphor that she used. With that, I really did like it. I thought that that was really good, and she I mean it kind of just was that through the whole song. That was probably my favorite like note of it was when she like let the rain pour in or whatever, and yeah, she was drowning, but then she could finally breathe. Because you do have to drown in it sometimes, but you can't let yourself spiral. Yeah. So write a song like Taylor did and get over it. Let off those feelings. Let off those feelings sit in there for a minute, and yeah. But no, I did really like it. Like it was kind of a sadder song, but it also was like the way she does it with making it sad but uplifting was really, really beautiful. Well, yeah, there was hope on the other side. Yes, and I like that. I think that's very important. And that's how I feel, you know. They always say, like the you know, the storm will pass. Yeah. Um yeah. So you just have to keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. But that's how I felt about it. I mean, it could take me back through any, like as far as like things or feelings I thought like I felt like that a lot in my life with different things. Yeah. What I'm taking, you know, what you could think that whether you lost someone to them dying, or yeah, whether it was like a relationship, whether it be a lover or a friend or a family member or a job, even. Yeah. I felt that in many different moments of my life, and I just had to wash in it and keep swimming. So I liked that a lot. I thought that was nice.

SPEAKER_01 46:42

Yeah, it's a it's a complicated song. So I, you know, normally I know the lore behind these songs. This one, I this song came out back when I back before I realized that was an actual Real Swifty. I remember when this album came out because my coworkers and I were talking about it at work. Oh, Taylor Swift has a new album. You know, it's the one that Shake It Off is on and everything like it. And it was her rebrand from Country to Pop. But it was also released at a time when I was going through a very, very troubling time in my past marriage, where this song really kind of I it was a time when I was going through separation, like we were separating. I moved out to a new apartment and by myself and was trying to accept the fact that I was going to get a divorce. Yeah, that didn't happen. This is this happened years before the actual divorce. Probably four, I think it was like four years before my actual divorce. This happened, but yeah, but I was grappling with like I like I knew that I was in a very toxic marriage, but it was also my normalcy. And so there was a comfort to it. So I had to get through the hard part of the hard part of knowing that relationship was going to be knowing that relationship was going to be gone, knowing that those comforts were going to be gone, trying to do things on my knowing that my marriage had failed. Like there was a whole lot of things that I and that I was just really going through with that. Yeah. And then trying to talk myself into okay, but things are going to be so much greater on the side, other side. You just have to go through this suffering. You just didn't punch a big enough hole in the ceiling. I did not punch the big enough hole in the ceiling that time. However, this kind of small circle because like a few years later I did. And I do have to say it is much better on the other side, as we all like as anyone that's in my circle knows. I will say time and time again.

SPEAKER_00 48:53

And I will say, I think that that's a big strong move. Even if it's in baby steps, it's better to step forward a little bit than not at all if you know that something needs to change. So that's amazing. You know, hey, you you know, you wouldn't have been able to make such a big hole the second time if you didn't try the first time. So well, that was actually my second try. Oh shit.

SPEAKER_01 49:10

Third time was a charm.

SPEAKER_00 49:12

Yeah. Yeah. You know, I think I could say the same for past relationships as well.

SPEAKER_01 49:18

Yeah, no, you and I knew each other during this time. We sure did. Yeah. Yeah. Jings. You didn't know the song, but you knew, yeah, you and I knew each other during this.

SPEAKER_00 49:28

I love that you have timestamps for this, these songs that you that I'm assigned, but I don't have timestamps for them for when they like came out when I first heard them because it's like usually the day of or a couple days prior. But it still brings me back to like a similar moment sometimes or still like a very relatable thing.

SPEAKER_02 49:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 49:49

Because yeah, the relationships I was going through in the same time that you were going through that is the one that really like made me feel like so.

SPEAKER_01 49:56

Yeah, it's hard to like you know you have to get through the you have to go through that terrible, awful rip the band-aid off like thing to get to the other side where the rain comes falling down and the pressure's all gone and finally breathe. What helped you through those times? Like the first, second, and the third. The first time I I had a couple of friends that were trying to help me through that. The second time I had coworkers that were helping me like find lawyers, and I actually lived across the courtyard from a co-worker that second time. So that was really supportive, and it felt more like an actual real separation. The third time I did a full-on retreat in Denver with a friend, like a friend, yeah, like I think we've mentioned this. It was a girls' trip, and I had already filed for divorce, but this was troubled marriages on a girls' trip. No, it was a girls' trip that did it in. Like I had already filed for divorce, I just hadn't moved out of the house yet, but he had moved into the apartment in Andover. Yeah. But it was the girls that were like, No, you need to actually go ahead and go through this. And then it was my attorney that was saying, No, you need to go ahead and actually leave the house with him and move out of the house and start brand new.

SPEAKER_02 51:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 51:11

And that got me out of the house. That and that made me have the strength to actually file for divorce. Yeah. And then I went and like laid in the fetal position at Julie's house for an entire evening while he was getting served. And then I was fine because it was over and it was real.

SPEAKER_00 51:26

Yes, yeah, I was there too for part of that.

SPEAKER_01 51:29

Yes, you were. You helped me pack up the house. Yeah, no, you helped you helped me pack up the getaway car. Yes. You and Julie and a hard time helped the car. Getaway car.

SPEAKER_00 51:38

Isn't that another thing? Yeah. Yeah. Well, yeah, no, I think that's still like really normal. Like everyone takes steps to get wherever they need to go and however those go in whatever situation. I think that's very valuable. Yeah. Still. It really is.

SPEAKER_01 51:55

You gotta have that support system. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 51:57

Honestly, I envy those people that can just rip off a band-aid like that right away. And now that I have been through situations where I have like baby stepped it, I am never going to baby step it again. If that happens, I'm just gonna be like, sorry. I mean, I say that now, but we'll see. You guys will find out. Well, we're always here to support you. I'm always just gonna go uh uh next, rip that ticket off, throw it to the wind.

SPEAKER_01 52:23

Yes, waste no time. We're gonna make the rain fall down so we can breathe. That's what we're gonna do.

SPEAKER_00 52:30

No, I really liked it because it did it did make it feel like really wholesome and clean, the whole song and everything. So I enjoyed it. I think that it's really cool how we both have overlapped our experiences, but then sometimes they're so different with these segments.

SPEAKER_01 52:43

Oh my gosh, it really, yeah. I love it too. This segment has really grown into something really cool. I know it was just kind of like this bunny cusy little experiment at first, and now it's like I like it. Look at us bonding over Taylor's.

SPEAKER_00 52:55

I know, we're about bonding, and I hope it's helping our listeners bond. I hope so too. I think about I hope you guys go and listen to it like whenever we do this, so that you can see how you feel about it. Yes. Because it's different with everything. Even when I was listening to it, I didn't just think about a past relationship, I thought about a past friendship. I thought about like losing somebody I loved, like my dog, buddy bear. Love you, buddy bear, buddy. Yeah, it's almost reaching that date. I think I don't even know how many years it's been without him, but it's like iconic feels like not that long, but also so long. It's crazy. He's my best friend. Yeah. I mean, you're my best friend to each end. Don't get jealous. But it's not different over friendships. But yeah, I really love it. I think it's really fun. I also I'm digging these segments. I can't wait to see what other segments we come up with in our in our next season. I'm I'm hoping we can come up with something pricey.

SPEAKER_01 53:53

Speaking of, if you guys have any suggestions for what would be a fun new segment for season two, please let us know. We are open to ideas.

SPEAKER_00 54:01

Yes, we are definitely open to ideas. And then, yeah, if you want to hear anything else, if you want to give us again, give us suggestions for your itinerary for Riverfest weekend.

SPEAKER_01 54:11

Yes. Oh, we want to know. There's still time. We want to know what your favorites are. So tell us in the comments.

SPEAKER_00 54:15

Yes, tell us where your favorite Riverfest things are to do, fun memories, anything. We're open to hearing it. Again, we're gonna be there Sunday 31st at 11 a.m.

SPEAKER_01 54:26

on the main stage.

SPEAKER_00 54:27

Yes, so come find us, it'll be fun. We'll be probably wandering around afterwards, I'm sure. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 54:33

If you're hanging with us, we're hanging with you. So don't you worry. So that'll be a fun time. That will be fun. We also have to remind you that this podcast is sponsored by the lovely team at Voo Events. We love you, Jamana and your team. You guys are amazing. Idea factory, if I ever saw one. I cannot say it enough. There's not a better word for it. No, I don't think there is. Um, don't forget to find us and subscribe on Spotify, YouTube, wherever you get your podcast. Don't forget that we have our amazing merch author, our spiffy merch author. Our spiffy merch will be linked in the show notes. That's right. And uh next episode is Riverfest. So I guess we'll see you on the other side.

SPEAKER_00 55:18

Yes, it is a live event on Facebook. So if you want to join it, go ahead. If otherwise, we will be also posting it on Thursday, of course.

SPEAKER_01 55:25

Yes, of course we will. Hopefully, we'll see you at Riverfest. Come see us 11 a.m. main stage. All you need is your Riverfest button again. See ya next episode. Cheers. Bye, bye.